I like writing on this particular blog.  It is a place where I feel I can be myself.
     Of course, on this one, I edit out all of the swearing I normally do, but this particular blog is for my in-depth thoughts.
     To continue, I did my work at the cafe today, with my napkin art.  Most people ignored me, as usual.  It is not as if I don't try.  I don't know what I'm supposed to do to get their attention.  I can't force them to buy my art.  I wouldn't want to sell my stuff to anybody who doesn't really like my work.
     So, I sit there and suffer.
     At least I have fun painting.  Also, I really do enjoy sipping my coffee, and going out to smoke a cigarette while paint dries.
     The cafe I paint at during the day is ideal.  It is a run-down cafe, with bad art on the walls.  The coffee is good, however.  The clientele of this shop don't care much about art, apparently.  They certainly don't care about my art, that is for sure.  I have no idea what they think of it.  My guess is that they think my artwork sucks, that I am a disheveled man, and they should stay forty feet away from me.  Basically, they don't want to acknowledge that I exist.
     Yet, I always catch them looking at my art.  Sometimes, they can't help it.
     They are ready to make snap-judgements, that is for sure. 


     Anyway, I had a good session, got a lot done, and the coffee was good.
     It was chilly and windy outside.

     I will mention that I had to endure another 'Alcoholics Anonymous' session.  Listening to those dopeheads makes me want to drink.  One guy was swearing a lot in his 'bro-speak' manner, and I found him quite tedious to listen to.  The 'moderator' wasn't much better, reading from that damn A.A. book as if it was important.
     I'm not a big fan of A.A., can you tell?

     I'm just happy I got my work done, and I'm looking forward to taking my wares to the bar tonight.

     I'm almost addicted to going to the cafe and getting rejected by everyone there.  I get a rush out of it. 
     At the bar at night, I get attention, and money thrown at me.  Also, people buy me drinks.
     At the cafe, they can't even afford to buy me a $2 coffee.  Those people are cheap.

     So, 'Napkin Art Year One' is almost over.  It has been a hell of a year.  In addition, I started 'The Drunken News', and that has been pretty fun, too.

     I have lots of ideas in my head of what I plan to do.  I hope this next year will be even better.

     Can you imagine?  I paid rent for an entire year off of selling napkin art. 

     One thing that I do want to mention while I am thinking about it is that a friend of mine got her laptop stolen with the book she was writing on it.  Doesn't that suck?  All that work gone down the drain.  I hate thieves worse than just about anything.  They have caused me a lot of pain in my life.

     Also, while I am thinking about it, a lot of people got in San Francisco got eviction notices for Christmas.  Isn't this city great?

     It was another night at the bar last night.  The usual suspects were there.  However, it was a real slow night, which means that I am forced to go into production, instead of what I would rather be doing, and that is selling art.  I'm sick of making it.  I wouldn't mind some sales.
     Actually, I love making art, but the reality of the world says that I have to sell.  My rent certainly requires me to sell if I am to keep a roof over my head.
     Sometimes, I don't know why people don't like me or my art.  Sometimes it is me, sometimes it is them.  Sometimes it is both of us, or neither.  Sometimes I want to sell, but I'm not fond of the person much, so I would rather he/she doesn't buy my art.  I don't like my art being in the wrong hands.
     Anyway, I'm sitting here like a dick, listening to the guitar player next door noodling away, when all I want to do is write.  Who does he think he is, Slash?  Guitar players are a dime a dozen these days, kind of like photographers,...or painters.
     I had all these plans to write about some things, but the guitar player, and now another band across the way is interfering with my thought processes.
     Sorry, world.  Now I can't write what I was going to write.  I guess you guys will never know what is on my mind.
     Actually, it was all just stupid bar stuff from the last couple of days that I was going to write about.
     I don't know if it is worth it now to mention any of it. 
     What is the point?
     I don't know.
     I really don't know.
     I just don't really know.
     I don't know, really, at all.
     I really just don't honestly know.
     I just really don't know, honestly, at all.
     But really, I honestly don't know, really, seriously.

     Maybe I'll just take a nap, and think about all of the stuff that I could have said about Roy, David G., Tony, Connie, Jessica, and all the rest.
     Yeah, maybe I will leave it to another day.

     The moment is gone.  The musicians ruined it for me, once again.
     Thanks, guys.
     Thanks, a lot, really.

     I guess I just feel like writing right now.  It happens from time to time, when I am not inundated with mad desires to kill in the context of an online game.
     It was a typical day at the cafe, where I did my napkin art, and tried to interact with people.  It didn't work too well.  No one gives a crap about my art or me there.  Plus, they don't have any money to buy art, which is why they don't even bother to look at what I am doing.
     Oh well.
      *uck 'em.
     It still feels weird that I can't really swear on my own blog unless it is set to adult, at which point the advertisers won't touch it with a ten foot pole.
     Oh well, moving right along...
     I'm having a good life, and I'm hoping I will have some good sales tonight.  It is Friday, and maybe I will sell $100 of my napkin art.  Or maybe, I will sell $30 worth.  I never know what the outcome will be.  My main job is just to show up, and to see what happens.  This isn't always easy, to get out of bed, bicycle across town with all of my art stuff, and then sit there for six hours and paint.  The beer and the company makes it worthwhile when there aren't many sales.
     Yeah, thank goodness I have some friends up at the bar.  From going there every night, I've met some good people.  I've been so busy with work and school in my adult life, that I didn't have too much time for friendships, so I am glad I am making up for lost time.
     Am I lonely?  I don't know.  I like to be alone...all the time.  I enjoy it, because I can hear myself think without interruption.
     In the last year, since I started my napkin art at the bar, the loneliness and sadness has mostly gone away.  The alcohol has made me very happy, and I enjoy social interactions every night.
     I'm kind of past the point where women want to go out with me.  They know better than to date me.  So, I just want one thing from them...their money.  Every once in a while I get a hug, but that is about it.  If this wasn't a general audience blog, I'd go into lurid details about my private life, lol.
     So, the napkin art started because I had nothing to lose.  It was a risk that has paid off.  I pay my rent through sales of napkin art.  Awesome, huh?
     Honestly, I can't sell enough.  I usually have an inventory of about 400 napkins, which is worth about $2000.  I like to have a lot of art on me so people can have a lot to choose from.
     My favorite kind of customer is a person who picks out twenty, and drops a 'C-note'.  It has happened a couple of times.

     What is life about?  I don't know.  Living life to the fullest is what it is about, however you interpret that.  I usually gain satisfaction from using my time well throughout the day, and getting a lot done.  It makes me feel good.
     To be honest, I'm a coffee achiever.  I became prolific when I started drinking coffee.

     Anyway, I would love to become a full-time blogger, and make $25,000 a year just doing blogs.  That would be awesome.  I've heard of a guy that does that.  Not many people read my blogs, but maybe someday they will.  The only way to find out is to do it and see what happens.  You can't control if people will read your blogs, but you can control how many blogs you put out, and what the content is.
     In the history of printing, there has never been such a thing as 'instant publishing', and it is fantastic.  To be able to write, and to have your work available all over the world is incredible.  I know a lot of people take this for granted at this point, but I don't.

     So, I am forty-five now.  Life is a little easier now, because I am done with school, and I can do what I want.  Also, I am self-employed, and that is fun.  I'm barely scraping by month to month, but I am having the time of my life, so truck it.  Using a replacement word often works instead of swearing in a blunt manner.

     I'm going to play some online games.  Thanks for reading.