"Where Are You From?"

     A lot of people in the bar ask me, "Where Are You From?"

     Sometimes I answer the question, sometimes not.

     Basically, for the sake of brevity, I tell them that I am from Los Angeles, Salt Lake City, and San Francisco.

     Maybe I should start telling them I am from another planet.

     They wouldn't believe me.

     Women, in particular, would say "He's weird," when describing me.

     That still happens.  I can sometimes hear them say that when they think I can't hear them.

     Nothing else to do except to make fun of Blogger, I suppose.  I love to bite the hand that feeds.
     Actually, Blogger is really fun and easy to use.  I highly recommend it.
  
     Otherwise, things are going good.  My rent is all paid up.  I was behind there for a while.  So I am happy that I am in good shape in that department for a while.  Being in good shape for other things, well, certain areas need work.

     So, I wake up, turn on Howard Stern, play some video games, go to the coffee shop and paint, come home, play more video games, then I go up to the bar and paint some more.  The bar is where I get sales for my art.
     It is a roller coaster ride, but it is fun.  I like it.  I enjoy drinking and painting.

     Anyway, I had a nice salad today.  It was delicious with some fresh mushrooms on top.  Yummy, yummy.

     So, I don't know who reads my ramblings, but I keep getting hits.  The main idea is that I think they are automated bots.  It is all the same to me.  Every hit matters.

     I have narrowed down my video games to just one.  That would be Clone Wars Adventures.  I have a lot of fun playing this.  I especially enjoy the mini-games.  'Card Assault' is the one I have been obsessed with because you can win booster cards in the daily tournaments.  I have only won a handful of times, but I keep trying.  I never give up if I can help it.

     Anyhow, I got some soup cooking up.  I love soup with fresh vegetables and rice.  I can't get enough.

     The fiasco of this woman asking me about the bike I was going to give her is finally over because I lugged the thing up to North Beach last night.  I hope she likes it.  The funny thing that happened is she is at the bar every night, and it was the one night where she did not show up.  I couldn't believe it, so we had to stick the bike in the back.  Hopefully, she will show up tonight.
     I just can't believe my luck sometimes.
     I was just trying to make one person in the world happy, and she wasn't there.
     Geez.

     Following all this, I think I need a nap.  It is going to be a big night tonight of painting and drinking.  I really am hoping that selling will be a part of tonight.  I am burnt out on production, and need more sales.  Beer in a bar ain't cheap you know.

     The liquor store on the corner lost their license to sell alcohol.  What did they do, sell to a minor?  Maybe they did on accident.  All kinds of things happen.

     I am reading 'Dr. Strangelove'.  I never knew it was a book.  I am only familiar with the movie.  Regardless, the book is fantastic.  I highly recommend it.  Similar to 'Catch-22' in spirit, it is a funny book.  Growing up on M*A*S*H*, I have a distrust of the government, and of authority.  They have their best interests in mind, not mine.  That is for sure.

     Naptime, and thanks for reading.

     And by the way, 'legit' is not a word.  Short for 'legitimate', it is annoying to my ears.  To me, it makes anyone who says 'legit' sound like a retard.

     I like writing on this particular blog.  It is a place where I feel I can be myself.
     Of course, on this one, I edit out all of the swearing I normally do, but this particular blog is for my in-depth thoughts.
     To continue, I did my work at the cafe today, with my napkin art.  Most people ignored me, as usual.  It is not as if I don't try.  I don't know what I'm supposed to do to get their attention.  I can't force them to buy my art.  I wouldn't want to sell my stuff to anybody who doesn't really like my work.
     So, I sit there and suffer.
     At least I have fun painting.  Also, I really do enjoy sipping my coffee, and going out to smoke a cigarette while paint dries.
     The cafe I paint at during the day is ideal.  It is a run-down cafe, with bad art on the walls.  The coffee is good, however.  The clientele of this shop don't care much about art, apparently.  They certainly don't care about my art, that is for sure.  I have no idea what they think of it.  My guess is that they think my artwork sucks, that I am a disheveled man, and they should stay forty feet away from me.  Basically, they don't want to acknowledge that I exist.
     Yet, I always catch them looking at my art.  Sometimes, they can't help it.
     They are ready to make snap-judgements, that is for sure. 


     Anyway, I had a good session, got a lot done, and the coffee was good.
     It was chilly and windy outside.

     I will mention that I had to endure another 'Alcoholics Anonymous' session.  Listening to those dopeheads makes me want to drink.  One guy was swearing a lot in his 'bro-speak' manner, and I found him quite tedious to listen to.  The 'moderator' wasn't much better, reading from that damn A.A. book as if it was important.
     I'm not a big fan of A.A., can you tell?

     I'm just happy I got my work done, and I'm looking forward to taking my wares to the bar tonight.

     I'm almost addicted to going to the cafe and getting rejected by everyone there.  I get a rush out of it. 
     At the bar at night, I get attention, and money thrown at me.  Also, people buy me drinks.
     At the cafe, they can't even afford to buy me a $2 coffee.  Those people are cheap.

     So, 'Napkin Art Year One' is almost over.  It has been a hell of a year.  In addition, I started 'The Drunken News', and that has been pretty fun, too.

     I have lots of ideas in my head of what I plan to do.  I hope this next year will be even better.

     Can you imagine?  I paid rent for an entire year off of selling napkin art. 

     One thing that I do want to mention while I am thinking about it is that a friend of mine got her laptop stolen with the book she was writing on it.  Doesn't that suck?  All that work gone down the drain.  I hate thieves worse than just about anything.  They have caused me a lot of pain in my life.

     Also, while I am thinking about it, a lot of people got in San Francisco got eviction notices for Christmas.  Isn't this city great?

     It was another night at the bar last night.  The usual suspects were there.  However, it was a real slow night, which means that I am forced to go into production, instead of what I would rather be doing, and that is selling art.  I'm sick of making it.  I wouldn't mind some sales.
     Actually, I love making art, but the reality of the world says that I have to sell.  My rent certainly requires me to sell if I am to keep a roof over my head.
     Sometimes, I don't know why people don't like me or my art.  Sometimes it is me, sometimes it is them.  Sometimes it is both of us, or neither.  Sometimes I want to sell, but I'm not fond of the person much, so I would rather he/she doesn't buy my art.  I don't like my art being in the wrong hands.
     Anyway, I'm sitting here like a dick, listening to the guitar player next door noodling away, when all I want to do is write.  Who does he think he is, Slash?  Guitar players are a dime a dozen these days, kind of like photographers,...or painters.
     I had all these plans to write about some things, but the guitar player, and now another band across the way is interfering with my thought processes.
     Sorry, world.  Now I can't write what I was going to write.  I guess you guys will never know what is on my mind.
     Actually, it was all just stupid bar stuff from the last couple of days that I was going to write about.
     I don't know if it is worth it now to mention any of it. 
     What is the point?
     I don't know.
     I really don't know.
     I just don't really know.
     I don't know, really, at all.
     I really just don't honestly know.
     I just really don't know, honestly, at all.
     But really, I honestly don't know, really, seriously.

     Maybe I'll just take a nap, and think about all of the stuff that I could have said about Roy, David G., Tony, Connie, Jessica, and all the rest.
     Yeah, maybe I will leave it to another day.

     The moment is gone.  The musicians ruined it for me, once again.
     Thanks, guys.
     Thanks, a lot, really.

     I guess I just feel like writing right now.  It happens from time to time, when I am not inundated with mad desires to kill in the context of an online game.
     It was a typical day at the cafe, where I did my napkin art, and tried to interact with people.  It didn't work too well.  No one gives a crap about my art or me there.  Plus, they don't have any money to buy art, which is why they don't even bother to look at what I am doing.
     Oh well.
      *uck 'em.
     It still feels weird that I can't really swear on my own blog unless it is set to adult, at which point the advertisers won't touch it with a ten foot pole.
     Oh well, moving right along...
     I'm having a good life, and I'm hoping I will have some good sales tonight.  It is Friday, and maybe I will sell $100 of my napkin art.  Or maybe, I will sell $30 worth.  I never know what the outcome will be.  My main job is just to show up, and to see what happens.  This isn't always easy, to get out of bed, bicycle across town with all of my art stuff, and then sit there for six hours and paint.  The beer and the company makes it worthwhile when there aren't many sales.
     Yeah, thank goodness I have some friends up at the bar.  From going there every night, I've met some good people.  I've been so busy with work and school in my adult life, that I didn't have too much time for friendships, so I am glad I am making up for lost time.
     Am I lonely?  I don't know.  I like to be alone...all the time.  I enjoy it, because I can hear myself think without interruption.
     In the last year, since I started my napkin art at the bar, the loneliness and sadness has mostly gone away.  The alcohol has made me very happy, and I enjoy social interactions every night.
     I'm kind of past the point where women want to go out with me.  They know better than to date me.  So, I just want one thing from them...their money.  Every once in a while I get a hug, but that is about it.  If this wasn't a general audience blog, I'd go into lurid details about my private life, lol.
     So, the napkin art started because I had nothing to lose.  It was a risk that has paid off.  I pay my rent through sales of napkin art.  Awesome, huh?
     Honestly, I can't sell enough.  I usually have an inventory of about 400 napkins, which is worth about $2000.  I like to have a lot of art on me so people can have a lot to choose from.
     My favorite kind of customer is a person who picks out twenty, and drops a 'C-note'.  It has happened a couple of times.

     What is life about?  I don't know.  Living life to the fullest is what it is about, however you interpret that.  I usually gain satisfaction from using my time well throughout the day, and getting a lot done.  It makes me feel good.
     To be honest, I'm a coffee achiever.  I became prolific when I started drinking coffee.

     Anyway, I would love to become a full-time blogger, and make $25,000 a year just doing blogs.  That would be awesome.  I've heard of a guy that does that.  Not many people read my blogs, but maybe someday they will.  The only way to find out is to do it and see what happens.  You can't control if people will read your blogs, but you can control how many blogs you put out, and what the content is.
     In the history of printing, there has never been such a thing as 'instant publishing', and it is fantastic.  To be able to write, and to have your work available all over the world is incredible.  I know a lot of people take this for granted at this point, but I don't.

     So, I am forty-five now.  Life is a little easier now, because I am done with school, and I can do what I want.  Also, I am self-employed, and that is fun.  I'm barely scraping by month to month, but I am having the time of my life, so truck it.  Using a replacement word often works instead of swearing in a blunt manner.

     I'm going to play some online games.  Thanks for reading.

     Hey there.  I will try and write without any swearing or profanity in it. 
     I'm just sitting here in my art studio listening to Artie Lang and Gary D'ell A'bate argue on The Wrap-Up Show from three years ago.  It is depressing.
     I do like how the 'Wrap-Up Show' acronym is 'W.U.S.'  One more 'S' and it would be 'W.U.S.S.' which is what Gary is a lot of the time.
     Anyway, I am listening, and trying to get through the program a little bit at a time.  It is rough listening.
     Generally, without Howard moderating things, you can see how boring the show can get.

     Anyway, it is raining outside a little.  It is not the best weather to carry napkin art on a bike.

     Maybe I should just lay down.

     I already slept in today.

     I need a refresh in my brain.

     I just looked at all of my blogs, and now it says that several of my blogs have gotten zero hits.  It didn't say that earlier today.  I don't know what is going on with it.

     I have yet to earn a paycheck from Google, so I don't know why I care.

     Anyway, it will be another night at the bar.  I will paint, and try and sell my art.

     Sometimes I look at my art, and all I see is a bunch of worthless crap.  At other times, I see a glimmer of hope.
     There is no question about it, painting is hard.  It is not easy.  Not only do you have to have excellent painting skills, but you have to have amazing ideas, and be able to execute them well.  In other words, it takes a lot to impress people, if you can do it at all.  It's been my experience that most people don't care about art, and for them to care about my art is even less.  To get anybody to buy my art is an impressive feat.  Yet, I am able to sell, so I can't figure it out.  All I know is that the art has to grab people; otherwise, no dice on any sales.  If it doesn't, I just end up being alone, with no money coming in.

     Yes, maybe I should just lay down.  I don't want to depress anybody.

Reality Sandwich with Pickle

     The rent is due.  It sucks, but that is the reality of life.  This is most unfortunate.  Do you know how much art I have to sell to pay rent all the time?  A lot, and it isn't always easy to make art, much less sell it.  Making and selling are two different crafts.
     I didn't know what I was getting into when I decided to be an artist.  I thought I was just going to make a bunch of pretty pictures, and sell them, and be happy.
     The world happened, however.  Things I didn't know existed at the time I started to be an artist didn't get my attention until years later.
     I was incredibly naive, and I didn't know how to speak, and I am still not sure I can.  I slosh my way through The English language as best as I can, and I am not even sure I do a good job of it.
     To be an artist in today's world, you gotta be a good talker, a great thinker, a smooth writer, a superb business, and you gotta make some decent art on top of that.  It is a lot to ask.  Then, you have to find a way to stand out from the crowd.  Then to sell art, everything has to be pristine, and polished, or else people won't even bother to look at it.
     I've got to do something to make it all happen for me, and I've got to do it now.
     I have had fun blogging, but I can't expect anything to come from adsense for quite some time.  There is no way that I will be paid fairly for all of the words I write, unless my work becomes popular.  To do that, I have to reach out and connect with people.  That is no small task.  My job is to keep going, no matter what, and perhaps over time, I will find an audience.  There are a lot of people in this world who might like the views and opinions of a struggling artist, so I will work until something happens, or at least have a good time doing it.
     Yup, I have to pay rent.  It is a chore for me.
     In case you haven't noticed, the pay for struggling artists isn't all that great.  I can't really ask people for money, either.  I would be ashamed of doing that, yet I have to live.  I would like to sell a crapload of art, that would be fun.  Maybe I will do that.  It is raining today, so scratch the idea of taking paintings outside to sell.  Rain water and acrylic paint don't mix too well.

     The prospect of finding a regular job is starting to bother me.  I am going to have to do something about that.  My freelance art thing isn't exactly paying the bills.  It is good, honest work when I get it, but it is rare, and that is unfortunate.

     I still haven't even made my debut.

     I am starting to figure out that it isn't going to do me much good that even if I was making awesome paintings that wound up in a museum someday, well, I won't be around to see that, so what is the point?  I have to come up with a way that is better which works for me. 
     I need to cater my life to itself.
     At this point, I don't even know what it is I am talking about, so maybe it is time for me to run an errand, and to take care of business.

     I have a lot to chew on today.  It is called a 'Reality Sandwich with pickle'.